I’m angry this evening. It’s been distracting. I also lose patience occasionally with all the pressures going on.
Today, a friend shared a video on “What you don’t know about anger” in our WhatsApp group. It’s not perfect, but it’s helpfully timely so that I can reframe my anger and gain clarity.
What is anger?
It’s a tube of energy moving through you. If you constrict or restrict it, it will manifest in symptoms. It’s kinked. It’s a better idea to let it flow.
If anger is unkinked, it’s an expression of love. There’s some truth to that: we do not get angry at anything that we do not have care for.
What happens if you can’t get angry?
That would be regressed anger. It can lead to anxiety and depression. As a result, it can also cause self-sabotaging tendencies, poor self-esteem, physical pains, and relationship problems.
As anger gets suppressed, it may burst, and it could be a good idea to let it burst. When that happens, we need to find an outlet for it. It’s like letting a champagne pop and enjoy the release.
How to develop a relationship with anger?
Most people think they have to be either angry at somebody or not angry at all. The truth is you can be angry but not be targeted at anyone. That helps with releasing. Make anger safe. Make nothing wrong with it. Let’s express anger without hurting anyone.
Anger does not have logic. It helps not to judge it. Get through and past anger, and we may get clarity on the other side.
If anger is met with love, we can let it pass through while establishing boundaries and achieving clarity. I’m here in love, and I don’t accept this. Martin Luther King and Gandhi are examples of people who can treat anger with love and make everlasting speeches.
What to watch out for?
Don’t get angry in a way that creates shame. If we can’t help but hurt somebody or break something, it reinforces the loop of what not to do if we meet anger with love and care.
What can we do when angry?
Write it down. Let it out without much thinking. Use profanities if needed. Don’t be logical. Don’t allow judgment to interrupt. Don’t expect anger to be a specific way. It does not make sense, but I will listen and see what happens. This experiment can lead to some breakthroughs or clarity.
That’s it for today. I’ll switch over to my journal to let anger flow.
Next: On Product Management